The hot chick...

I've thought all along that No was by far one of the most beautiful creatures that has ever walked the face of the earth (no offense ladies) apparently others recognize this too. Apparently it is also blatently obvious to others that I care VERY deeply for her and that she is the most important thing in the world to me. Don't take my word for it, take his...

On an average day, I come in from Triage and lay my armor down with my helmet beside it in the office, so the next morning I can grab it on my way out and it's not cluttering up my spacious room (10'x10'). Well, part of my devotion to the goddess I call my girlfriend is my favorite picture of her (laid back on the couch, hand in her hair, with those big "come take me now" eyes staring at the camera) I keep in my helmet. Well often times, this picture get's seen because my helmet gets laid upside down, it falls and somebody just lays it back on my vest, or some people are just plain nosey. Well, the other morning, I was standing in the shower when a friend of mine walks in and says "Hey Doc! I've got some funny shit to tell you!" Apparently he was walking through the office and saw a helmet laying there with a picture in it. He, being nosey like most techs, picked up the helmet. He, being one of my best friends, immediately recognized that it was No. As soon as he did he made the following request of the entire room... "Who's fucking helmet is this and why do you have a picture of No?" He immediately turned to the nearest face which happened to be a FNG and immediately began to question him using my favorite FSV (Force, Speed, Violence) tactics. "Who the fuck? Why the fuck? What the fuck?!!! Naturally the kid freaked. He had no idea what was going on. The poor kid almost cried. Well about 2 minutes into this verbal beating, My boy looked at the band on the helmet and realized he was in fact holding MY helmet. Sorry little dude. Wrong place, wrong time. You'll be ok.

Well, to further reinforce the fact that I am in love with a goddess sent to me by the Blaster Gods on High, I give you story number 2....

So there I was, on the bike in the Gym jamming to LMFAO "I'm in Miami Bitch!!!" on my iPod with my brand new (amazing might I add) Shure headphones. Sidebar- If you need new headphones and don't mind coming off about $70, jump on Amazon and check out the "Shure" line. You can spend a couple hundred bucks on them or you can hit the $60-$100 range and be perfectly content. So anyway... Gym, Bike, LMFAO... A guy walks in that I know and jumps on the bike next to me. Now this guy isn't a REAL close friend. More of an acquaintance, if you will. However I do know him well enough to know that he has UNGODLY high standards when it comes to women. SO we are sitting there, I'm in a zone turning about 120 RPM's almost to the top of Kilimanjaro and I get a jab in the side that brings me back to Iraq. I look over and he points in front of us at the female type that has just gotten on the machine in front of us and says "Check that out." I looked of course. (One more reason I love No. I can tell this story factually and not worry about her getting bent out of shape because I looked at some other chick momentarily) I nodded at him and said "Ehhh... 6-10-6 (She's a 6 in the states. Deploys.Due to a lack of options eventually starts to look like a 10 and upon redeployment to the states she reclaims her status as a 6 as options are more plentiful) To this he responds... "She not exactly No, but she's not that bad." WTF Dude?! You just established your 1-10 scale using my girlfriend as your high-end. I don't know whether to be flattered or fold up your face.

Until next time... (gotta go pick strawberries)